It is not easy to
sum up five months in a premier institute in a small write up. I am not even
going to attempt to do that as it would be nothing but folly. What I am going
to do is to dive down deep into spaces of my mind and try to capture some
figments, some events, some flashes that have stuck with me and probably will
be etched brightly in my memory, by the time I am done writing. Why am I doing
this? Tonight was one of those few nights, when I felt that smiles were
actually genuine, hugs were actually warm and handshakes meant respect. When I
saw these happen, my night was done. It was time to leave. I am happy.
Everything
appeared fake when I came here at first. From the trees being planted in a row
around the campus to the artificially grown grass and even the people around
me. There seemed to be a layer of unnecessary social obligation, unwanted
courteousness, needless formality everywhere. Deep down all this lacked
ingenuity. This troubled me for some time.
But in between, I
saw gems that shined in their own way... Everybody has a past. Most of us are
not comfortable sharing it with strangers or acquaintances. I met people who
soon became acquaintances who rather quickly grew into friends and who now are
individuals I have come to respect. It is not their accomplishments, nor their
backgrounds, that drew me towards them. It is their willingness to help. Their willingness
to be exposed, albeit cautiously to causes they find just. Their readiness to
help you when asked for. Their uncanny ability to understand that something is
not right with you by just a look or the degree of happiness in your smile.
In this short span
of time here, I have fallen in love, been heart broken, felt real anger,
overjoyed, accomplished, satisfied, confused and what not. I have felt like
loosing myself in the long locks of one of the most gracious women I have ever
seen. I have also resigned to the fact that I have to get my priorities
straight, else I would get screwed. I have been shouted at for slacking, been
cared for when I am sick, been tolerated for my incompetence and also
appreciated for my effort.
But my greatest
accomplishment till date. I have at least one FRIEND whom at the middle of the
night I can call and talk bull shit to in the campus. I have at least one
FRIEND, who will find time to teach me subjects which I was too lazy to attend
classes or study. I have at least one FRIEND who will walk with me and
understand when I want to be silent and when I want to talk. I have at least
one FRIEND who will make me smile no matter how down and under I am. I have at
least one FRIEND who will invite me over to his place for a drink and a
friendly chat. I also have one FRIEND who will keep reminding me what a schmuck
I was to choose the wrong relationships and would make me suffer.
What I have come
to realize is that comfort and discomfort go hand in hand. So does happiness
and sadness. It is how you choose to be in these situations that actually
decides the state of your mind and the kind of person you are. My biggest
learning till date would be to be thankful for what I have. I am thankful for
this opportunity to study in one of the best colleges in the country. I am
thankful for getting my ass kicked day in and day out here. I am thankful for
this perpetual state of struggle that I find myself in no matter what I do. I
am thankful for this alarming level of uncertainty and ambiguity that may well
stay with me for the rest of this year.
But most of all, I
am thankful for being a cog in a unique wheel, made of these gems of persons
who actually make waking up and coming to class worth while and happening.
Those beauties who bring a smile on my face just by their mere presence. I am
thankful to have such wonderful individuals as my classmates whom I have come
to love and respect in this short period of time... time which I know would
soon become eternity.
If the reader
feels the same... you are lucky and be thankful
