It was my last day in college today. Only exams after... Many of you would think that a sense of nostalgia would be taking over me now and that am gonna write about how am gonna miss those 'golden' days, those days I spend with my buddies basking lazily in the sun and so on and so forth. Wrong!!!! My feelings are quite contrary to this regard. I know at least 10 guys who feel the same way as I do. Until today, it was 2 weeks since I went to college. I missed my final arts day, sports day and a chunk of the long awaited 'demo' days. I remember that 2 to 3 years back I used to plan in my mind how MY demo days would go. Now when the time finally arrived, I slacked. No enthusiasm... no feeling. Truly, I don't regret not going to college or not participating in any of these events. Some guys in class came with autograph books. Others cried... Still others made promises of meeting up 5 years from now at some place etc... I don't mean to disrespect anyone but... BULLSHIT!!!!
I did not feel sad even as I left school. In fact the farewell was one big party, with only some teachers crying. But the days before the farewell, I was really sad and depressed. I was nostalgic, I felt all the ways I mentioned before. I agree that my college life did not reach my expectations. Or did I aim too high??? I'll never know. It doesn't really matter now, does it??? Four years just went like that.
Now I stand at the doorstep of a new world. I don't know what it holds for me. Well... that's future for you... You never know what it holds for you... Whatever it does am true to my heart when I say this... " Am ready for it. Take your best shot"
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Bears, Bulls and Deers
A week more of class... Some in my class say they are sad to leave college. Some say they'll miss 'those golden days'. For a boy who has not been to any of the class tours, any arts festival and have just the required percent of attendance and too with a chunk of duty leave, I don't have to explain my 'emotions'.
At this junction I evaluate my last 4 years. What have I gained? What have I lost? What have I learned?
Gains... I have always been rich in the matter of friends and in the past four years I grew even richer. Frankly, I did not expect to find any true company out of my school. Though I found only a handful, they are still with me and am happy they happened. I believe that, except for boozing, smoking and having an affair, I, along with a friend of mine have done everything, anybody can imagine, and even more, one can do in a city like Trivandrum. The lessons learned from these experiences have certainly helped us become more mature and more wary of the world around us.
The past four years were a mixed curry for me. Disappointments happened in regular intervals, a large chunk of which came in the form of results. My college days turned out to be a bit of disappointing too, because, even though I tried I could never really enjoy my time there. In the beginning I used to go back to my school to find my peace. A sense of calm always filled me when I entered the gates. Never has any other place appeared so inviting to me. Who doesn't want to be in a place where you are known, loved and respected.
Lessons learned were plenty.The first and most important one was that emotions have no place in this world. It has been very difficult, but ever since, I have tried not to let any of my decisions be lingered by emotions. After this, I have done only things that I like, and have been officially labeled a 'rebel' for it. Another lesson I learned was that if you believe that you are right you must stick with it no matter what others think about it. This belief has seen me through a lot of really tough times, many of which were really unpleasant.
Unlike my other posts I was more serious in this one. I really want to write more and more in this regard... But I don't think am ready to share myself with you people. Maybe in the future...
And no am NOT writing this because of any particular event that happened recently and CERTAINLY NOT because any heart break or such stuff. Yeh be warned against asking me anything in this regard either personally or through comments. I MEAN IT!!!!!
At this junction I evaluate my last 4 years. What have I gained? What have I lost? What have I learned?
Gains... I have always been rich in the matter of friends and in the past four years I grew even richer. Frankly, I did not expect to find any true company out of my school. Though I found only a handful, they are still with me and am happy they happened. I believe that, except for boozing, smoking and having an affair, I, along with a friend of mine have done everything, anybody can imagine, and even more, one can do in a city like Trivandrum. The lessons learned from these experiences have certainly helped us become more mature and more wary of the world around us.
The past four years were a mixed curry for me. Disappointments happened in regular intervals, a large chunk of which came in the form of results. My college days turned out to be a bit of disappointing too, because, even though I tried I could never really enjoy my time there. In the beginning I used to go back to my school to find my peace. A sense of calm always filled me when I entered the gates. Never has any other place appeared so inviting to me. Who doesn't want to be in a place where you are known, loved and respected.
Lessons learned were plenty.The first and most important one was that emotions have no place in this world. It has been very difficult, but ever since, I have tried not to let any of my decisions be lingered by emotions. After this, I have done only things that I like, and have been officially labeled a 'rebel' for it. Another lesson I learned was that if you believe that you are right you must stick with it no matter what others think about it. This belief has seen me through a lot of really tough times, many of which were really unpleasant.
Unlike my other posts I was more serious in this one. I really want to write more and more in this regard... But I don't think am ready to share myself with you people. Maybe in the future...
And no am NOT writing this because of any particular event that happened recently and CERTAINLY NOT because any heart break or such stuff. Yeh be warned against asking me anything in this regard either personally or through comments. I MEAN IT!!!!!
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