What Not to Write a Girl the Last Time You See Her

 “A girl can have amazing effects on your priorities. She can have disastrous effects on the choices you make and the way you lead your life. After I shifted to Hyderabad, leaving all that the wonderful Pune had offered and had yet to offer me, I had nothing else in my mind other than to find my own feet and more importantly find myself again. But the thing with life is that it takes you on a wonderful joy ride and then one fine day it shows you the finger and asks you to deal with it. It was something like that when I first met you. There was this girl with eyes so expressive and like diamonds that you would stake all your wealth on them to get another look and hair so smooth and as long as the winter night... with the smile that would melt away the last remnants of anger in your heart caused due to her immense stupidity and stubbornness. But quite frankly, you find a lot of girls like that in this world and a majority of them are sure to turn out to be shallow and (pardon your grace) dumb. Despite these mental cautionary notes, from the moment I met you, something told me that we are gonna be more than just colleagues. But never was I ready to start a serious relationship of any sort for that matter.

The feeling you give to the world: A fun, easy going girl from a well to do family, over cautious about the way you look, giving utmost importance to what people would think about the way you present yourself and absolutely loves to be the center of attraction. It is even reflected in the way you pose for a picture. The way you dress up every day, the way you carry yourself and the funny accent you have when you speak your native tongue, all points to one inescapable fact (if I were to judge you just by your looks) a typical high class girl who worries more about the size of her bosoms and green of her nail polish, than about what goes around her. This thought din't change that much after those long coffees we had during our first days. Your shopaholic nature and craving for horoscope confirmed the ‘Indian version of the dumb blonde’ in you. But it took lesser time and more conversations between us, for me to realize that you were more than just looks, with a deep sense of mystery which if pondered into, would be an utter unnecessary waste of my time. Nevertheless, I was relieved to find out that you were more than just looks. I was actually surprised at the level you confided in me right from the beginning (never realized I had that effect on girls J). But when I sensed that your ‘best friend’ considered it some kind of competition when he saw me with you, I decided to cut down on the talks. Why hurt... or get hurt for that matter.

Every morning you started our conversation with the same question “How do I look?” and every morning I would just smile. Well, here is what I think: You are undoubtedly one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. Stylish, confident and sure of yourself. Wonderful sense of dressing and definitely knows to make a first impression. Personally, I feel you could be on the ‘chubbier’ side of things (if you catch my drift). Will definitely fall in love with your hair at first sight. Eyes say a lot more than your words. Though I have caught a devil’s glimpse, I have not ‘observed’ enough to comment on… you know what all. Have a wholesome laugh, but seldom hear it due to unwanted reservations. Traditional wear suites you more than western clothing. Looks ravishing in saree and open locks. A closer look reveals signs of anorexia. I believe there is a hidden animal in you waiting to pounce, but only in front of the person you trust most. Very curvaceous and even a blind man will admire your beauty. Everyday you look beautiful than the day before and your smile comes as a balm to a troubled soul. Totally unwanted and fruitless boasting, which won't get me anywhere, if you ask me. I hate saying this, but I don’t find the need to comment on something that is as visible as light itself. Besides, you look a darling when irritated. I wouldn’t miss that look on your face for anything.

I wish we could stay in touch, though I know it wouldn’t be possible as ‘karma is a bitch’ and my karma takes me elsewhere and I hate mobile phones. But I shall come to see you when the time is right and when I need those long talks with you. Though it might appear that I am appealing you to mend your ways, I am not asking anything of you as it would be futile. Stay the way you are. You are good that way.

Signing off,

Yours always Unfaithfully…"

# Needless to say this letter IS FICTITIOUS